What Did Megan Olivia M. die from?

Its a question that will forever be burned into my mind and many others.  What did she die from? Why did a healthy, happy, beautiful little girl die in her sleep?  Looking at the stats of your blog you can see what people search for to find your blog.  I have seen this question multiple times lately, what was it? 

You can't call it a disease, nothing was found.  SUDC, sudden unexplained death in childhood.  What is SUDC?


SUDC (Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood) is the sudden and unexpected death of a child over the age of twelve months, which remains unexplained after a thorough case investigation is conducted. Similar to SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), SUDC is a diagnosis of exclusion - given when all known and possible causes of death have been ruled out. [By definition, SIDS applies only to the death of babies younger than 12 months, while SUDC victims are past their first birthday whose deaths go unexplained even after an autopsy, a death scene investigation and medical history review.]


Its a band aid for parents.  I imagine it must be what you would call a natural death?  Nothing is natural about your child going to sleep one day and never waking up.  It isn't an answer but It's all I have.  Its all so many of us have, be it SIDS or SUDC. 

When you think of SIDS, you think of all the precautions you can take to protect your child from this 'thing'.  Fan in a room, baby on back, keep them away from smokers, NEVER CO SLEEP, don't do if you are obese etc etc.   I know in my grief journey, I have only met one person who had a co sleeping accident.  Meaning the child was rolled onto.   In my journey and its been a long road and many many people to many that I have met, almost all of us had our children die ALONE.   Alone, not co sleeping accidents.  I'm so tired of people assuming SIDS is co sleeping accidents.  Yes there are safe sleeping practices we should all follow but the fact is, SIDS and SUDC is not suffocation deaths.  Our children just die and they cannot find a reason as to why, that's why we get the diagnosis we get. 

Alone.  Why?  Why did something so simple, so natural as a nap take away my child forever?  

The majority of these deaths are children face down.  When you think of SIDS babies, children under a year old many people think... Oh well you had your child on their stomach, they couldn't move their head.
Yet, my child, a 18 month old who could walk, talk, jump, rip blankets off placed her head face down and died.  Older children move if something is bothering them, she could get up and walk. 
So how can I possibly think that just because you put a child on their stomach that is the reason they died of SIDS? Once they start growing and getting more mobile, you can't choose how they lie.  They choose.  It's their choice how they sleep.

My personal opinion is that its something inside of them that just doesn't work right.  Something in their brain and their hearts that misfires.  I'd like to hope that its not painful, that its just them nodding off.   It is something, it is not their environment, it is not how we take care of them. 

I'm jaded and all the awareness ads bother me.  Classifying co sleeping deaths as SIDS drives me nuts.  So many people do all the right things and yet their children still die.  Its not that it isn't some good information but I cannot stop thinking that my healthy 18 month old child died from this as well.  She wasn't some helpless child who couldn't move her head.  She could walk, she could talk, she could rip blankets off and she died.  It makes you rethink everything. 

There is nothing you can do but spread awareness.  Most people are shocked that this can still happen after the age of 1.   It isn't known about like SIDS because while its the same thing, they cannot spread awareness about it.   What can you do to prevent a child from over the age of 1 dying?  Nothing, you really think a fan will help?  You think we should strap them on their backs.  A toddler strapped to her bed so she cannot move off her back while they sleep, is that a good idea?   Its all hogwash and they know it, they know nothing and that is why no one hears about it.  

Your child, up to age 15 can die in their sleep.    Die unexpectedly and you will receive this diagnosis.  After that age I have not found what they call it.  People can die at any given moment , all you can do is live and love and cherish each moment.

http://www.sudc.org/MediaEducation/FactSheet/tabid/99/Default.aspx