Saying nothing is worse. There are some people out there that would rather just continue moving on but I have found that most of us "loss" mommies, want our children mentioned, remembered.
I do not want to sit and have a hour long cry fest remembering everything. My intention is not to make you feel awkward.
Yes, you very well might say something and catch me off guard and make my eyes water. I would rather cry and remember than sit there in silence wondering if I'm the only one who thinks about her. I like to hear her name. You might say something, and I'll just smile and continue our conversation. You might say something, and I might counter with a small little, "I remember.." or some other little memory or quirk.
We could be in the middle of a conversation about the weather and you could casually say, "I remember Megan." Then go on about the weather. Its something so little that will mean so much to me. Maybe this gets easier as more time goes by but right now I just want to scream. "Why won't you say her name?"
"I wish Megan was here to enjoy this." "I saw the cutest little girl today and she really reminded me of Megan." "Do you remember that time Megan bit Emily because she was mad?" "I've never heard a laugh quite like Megan's" "Megan." "I found these beautiful flowers and really thought they'd be perfect for Megan's grave." "I donated to the SUDC in memory of Megan." "I've always thought it was so funny that Megan had those pretty brown eyes when no one else does." "Trixie was soo good with Megan." "Remember how much Megan loved to sneak up the stairs?" "I saw a beautiful rainbow today and it made me think of Megan." "I saw the cutest little shoes today and it made me remember how much Megan hated anything on her feet." " I remember." "I think about her all the time"
I'm not going to make you talk about her. I'm not going to burst out bawling because you mention her name. I won't even make you explain your sentence. I just want to hear her name. It comforts me. She may be gone but she's not forgotten. There is only a couple of people I can count on to mention her name to me randomly.
She is not a taboo subject. Do you have questions? Ask them. People are usually naturally curious about any subject pertaining a child and death. Ask, learn, share and remember. I am a open book. I don't hide myself.
It is important to me. Its all I have.
What do you mean I can't go up the stairs?