Its here, it is no longer 2010 and well to tell you the truth it feels no different than it did yesterday. Its just a day, an annoying one because It will take me months before I remember to write 2011 instead of 2010.
I'm hoping this year is better than 2010, but in spite of what happened to us, I find myself wondering if it really was that bad of a year. Yes my daughter died, yes I miscarried, yes we have had lots of family issues that make us just shake our head and say is this year ever going to be over.
2010 will always be a hated year, its the year I lost my sweet precious little girl to SUDC. Its also a year that I found out so much about myself, about my strength, about my family. Its a year that so many people came together to support me, to give me things in memory of my daughter. The support has been amazing. I hate that 2010 was the year my daughter left me, but like today its just a day. It feels no different than yesterday the pain doesn't magically dissipate and my heart isn't overjoyed with the thought that this year will be better. Everyone has told us that its time for us to have some luck for things to start going right, but it just hasn't happened. At least it doesn't feel that way.
Ive been promising to write for days, I have drafts saved that I just don't want to share. I'm feeling closed off and its probably not a good place. Hopefully Ill be able to share more of my thoughts and feelings soon. Until then, I'm doing ok :)