Tuesday, December 14, 2010

nothing.....

I have no idea what I want to write about today.  I've been nervous and praying a lot lately.  I'm ready for things to improve, something to go my way but it doesn't seem like its ever going to.  It disheartening and simply just hard to deal with.   How is all this sadness supposed to be Gods plan?

I haven't ran in over a week, I know it will make me feel better if I go.  Its just hard to make yourself do it. 

Im at this point where I either just keep the secret and put it away because nothing actually came out of it, or I tell and get people worrying about me and more sorrys.  Neither option sounds very good.

8 comments:

Tiffany said...

i know exactly what you feel like. pls know if you ever feel this way you can send me an email. i can relate. this is a very hard road to travel. i am feeling a little hopeless myself the last couple of days. i'm trying hard to pull myself out of my funk. i'm thinking about you...

Amy D said...

My prayers are with you and Tiffany. I'm sorry I can't do more, Jenny. I really do think about you daily. <3

mrsnice777 said...

((hugz))

rebecca said...

Thinking of you & sending love and prayers your way ((hugs))

Mary said...

We are all here for you. This is the place that you can let it all out and we will not judge you or worry about you. I am praying for you.

I gave you an award on my blog. Stop by to pick it up:)

Susan said...

Hi Jenny. I looked up where Lacey was today, and how to get there. It's only 25 hours from Edinburgh - I'd need to change in Amsterdam and Paris - but actually the ticket was surpringly cheap - under £700... it's probably just a little bit far to pop over with cake and a hug, but I would really like to have. Please know that the thought is there.

So much of what you say echoes my feelings about losing Catherine. The holiday season is hard. I didn't think it would be, but I am fed up of people telling me to have a merry christmas. It is exhausting. People seem to think that after 8 or 9 months we should be feeling better. I would like to take a break from my grief too - kick back and chill out for a week, away from all the intense feelings - but it isn't as easy as all that.

I think you should push yourself to go out and have a run. Keeping going is our last best hope. I really do believe things will become more bearable. And if God could arrange from some things to go our way, that would be lovely too xx

Stacey said...

Sorry to hear you are in a rough patch...I heard some new quotes lately that I really liked...

If God brought you to it, He will bring you through it.

Happy moments, Praise God
Difficult moments, Seek God
Quiet moments, Worship God
Painful moments, Trust God
Every moment, Thank God

Personally, I am working on the "thanking God" part. I know that no matter what, their is something to be thankful for, but sometimes that is very hard to see.

Big hugs, positive thoughts, and many prayers coming your way.

Samantha said...

I just found your blog a little while ago, but you touched my heart. The first night I read, I cried. Your writing is painfully beautiful.
When I was ready to sleep, I went and scooped up my 2 1/2 year old from his bed and held him while we slept. I laid there thinking that it wasn't fair. I want you to be able to hold Megan, too.
Today was Christmas and I was thinking about you both.