Wednesday, November 23, 2011

I wish I could

I wish I could imagine her now at the age of 3 running around, talking, and being silly.  As I was sitting at gymnastics today, there were some 3 year olds running around and I just can't picture her. Makes me so sad.  I miss her so very much.  Emily misses her so much.  She was looking at pictures on my phone the other day in the car and when I turned to get my phone back she had tears running down her face.  They were supposed to be sharing a room, bunk beds were supposed to be in that room.  Emily wanted a little sister to sleep with when they were scared or just needed someone.  Yes we have Amanda but its starting all over.  Shes a baby that can't do anything you know.  I hate grief. I hate it.  I hate missing my child so much. I want her here, I want all of my girls.  It isn't fair.   

7 comments:

Mary said...

It is so sad when your other children cry over the loss of a sibling. My Emily was praying at the dinner table tonight and just burst into tears because Micah wasn't here. It was so very sad. I am so so sorry that your Emily has to go through such pain. I know that makes your pain much much worse. You and your beautiful girls are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Mary

MrsH said...

oh, how I feel for you. To see Emily's tears, it must have broken your heart. Such an immense loss for all of you.

lissasue3 said...

(((hugs)))

Tiffany said...

It isn't fair at all :'(

Ashley said...

I'm so sorry, it's hard to think of our babies aging, I try to do it all the time.

Jessica Ryan said...

I can't envision Makenna any older than her 9 months and 18 days. I don't want this to sound bad, but I know in my heart it was because that just wasn't the plan for her life or for my life. I do envision her in heaven a lot though. Mainly picturing lights that bring me warmth and happiness.
Praying for you this holiday season.

Ava's mummy said...

Right there with you feeling how unfair it is and wishing I too had all my girls. Sending much love to all of your beautiful girls and to you of course. xxxx